Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Consistently Inconsistent

One of my biggest pet-peeves about myself is my inconsistency. Specifically regarding my time spent with the Lord. I'm awful at it. Awful.
My heart in the matter is truly to spend time with the Lord, not to check something off my list, but to grow closer to Him daily. To know His Word. His character. His grace. Although, I do desire this I've been quick to let other things take over my priorities. None of them bad on their own, but as soon as they are consuming me I'm sunk. School. Work. Managing money. Relationships. Future things. Sleep.
I can't speak for anyone else, but when any one or combination of those things tops my priority list everything seems to fall apart. I get irritated much faster, compassion and understanding quickly get away from me. I can blame part of that on my emotional, spaghetti-girl brain, but most of it is my sinful heart so ready to place anything else before Jesus.

Solution? Well, I don't exactly have one. At least not one that's easy or fool proof, but applying some discipline to my day would certainly be a help to me. Blaming my lack of consistency with the Lord on anything but my own selfish priorities and laziness, would certainly be a lie. So my goal (which I will undoubtedly fall short at for a while, but will continue to go for it despite that fact), to spend time daily in the Word even if for a few minutes. To spend the times I've driving by myself without music and in prayer. To find some kind of accountability, with people seeking the same things and struggling with this same issue.

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