A Bittersweet Christmas

"Be still and know that I am God." - Psalm 46:10

About a year and half ago, right when I was coming back from Africa, my sweet mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. After about 6 months of treatment, she was unofficially cancer free and in remission. At her three month check up this last July, we were hit with the news that her cancer was back and stronger than before, this time on her liver. She went to see specialists in Texas to decide if there was anyway to remove the cancer via surgery. The answer was no. She came back to Albuquerque to start chemo treatments again in order to hopefully shrink the new tumor enough to surgically remove. As we all prayed and begged the Lord to heal my mom from this exhausting and often painful sickness and treatment, the Lord quietly and gently said no. In October, the doctors changed her chemo treatments in an attempt to buy her more time rather than rid her of the cancer that was not responding to the original treatment. The doctors thought that she had maybe two months or so left with us here.

The new treatment did what it was supposed, putting a sort of leash on the cancer. It was still progressing but much much slower than it would without the treatment. We prayed and prayed that this treatment would be less trying with it's side effects than the last and that my mom would make it to my brother's wedding on December 17th.

She did. It was a beautiful day. She LOVED seeing my brother and his new wife get married, despite being the weakest she'd been during the last year and a half. The Lord was gracious giving her enough energy to painlessly make it through the gorgeous ceremony and reception. Unfortunately, over the next two days she became more sick and was in more pain than she'd ever been in since the diagnosis and treatments. Monday morning (December 19th) she was back at the hospital where her very sympathetic but realistic doctor told us we were down to 2-3 days probably. As devastating as that news was to my family and me, she was ready and she told us so. Her faith was amazing. She told us that in all the time she'd spent talking with the Lord about her sickness and asking for healing and relief from the pain, she felt like He'd very clearly told her that He was going to bring her home from this not heal her of it.

That same Monday, my mom was sent home from the hospital and the next day we started her at home hospice care, where she would be cared for and her pain would be managed in the comfort of my parents' home with all of us around her. My precious, selfless aunt (my mom's sister) stayed after my brother's wedding to help with whatever we or my mom needed. What a blessing she was to all of us!

Each day last week, my beautiful mama was getting worse and worse, but passed the 2 and 3 day mark. We were so comforted by the graciousness and empathy that my mom's sweet hospice nurse showed us. Assuring us that while it may seem different, we were giving her enough pain medication to ensure that she was comfortable and completely pain free. What a relief and comfort that was for my family and me.

The afternoon of Christmas day, my mom went to be with Jesus. With my brother, sisters, dad, aunt and myself gathered around her bed, she breathed her last and the Lord took her home. While my heart is broken at the absense of my mom here with me know, I'm overjoyed and rejoicing with her as she's been welcomed into heaven by her Savior. No more pain, no more sickness, and no more tears for her ever again. What a beautiful gift, that the Lord would take her home to be with Him the day that we celebrate Him giving us Jesus. We are grieving the loss of a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a friend, know that we are so so comforted by the fact that we know exactly where she is and that she is doing better than she ever has. We are so thankful that she was able to be at my wedding and my brother's wedding, and celebrate both those days with us.

"When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying is written will come true: 'Death has been swallowed up in victory.' 'Where, oh death, is your victory? Where, oh death, is your sting?'" - 2 Corinthians 15:54-55

Zephaniah 3:17

A sweet friend sent me these words of encouragement today. So needed.


"The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior who saves! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest in silent satisfaction and in His love He will be silent and make no mention of past sins, or even recall them; He will exult over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

Leah Anne Medina

Could she be any cuter?! I think not.

Christmas & Family News

Our house is slowly accumulating Christmas cheer, and thanks to Pinterest (tired of hearing about that yet?) I get to try some new things!

Black Friday gave us our lovely Christmas tree and pinterest gave me everything else :)

Yep, another DIY wreath

Easy Peazy

Fun pinterest window decorations

And super fun stockings that my husband brought home for us and the dog :)

In other not related news? I have a niece! My brother-in-law and his wife have adopted a sweet baby girl! I can't tell you how excited I am to be an aunt. My hubby's brother and sister-in-law have prayed and prayed for the last 2 years or so for the Lord to open the door for them to adopt and after a road full of ups and downs, He has said, "YES"! I've gotta say as smitten as her fantastic parents are with her, she's already got an uncle wrapped around her little bitty finger :)

Meet my new niece Leah Anne Medina!

A LOT more pictures to come of her first day coming home with her mom and dad! And can you blame me? She's just about the sweetest thing ever! :)

Pasta Salad

Thank you, Pinterest! FANTASTIC pasta salad :)

Ingredients:

1 cup chopped pecans

1/2 package bow-tie pasta

1 lb. fresh broccoli

1 cup mayonnaise

1/3 cup sugar

1/3 cup red wine vinegar

1 tsp. salt

1 1/2 cups halved, seedless, red grapes

-Bake pecans at 350 degrees on baking sheet for 5-7 minutes or until toasted.

-Prepare pasta according to package directions.

-Cut broccoli florets into small pieces.

-Whisk together mayonnaise, red wine vinegar, sugar, and salt until well blended. Add broccoli, hot cooked pasta, and grapes. Mix together well, allow to chill for 3 hours. Put pecans into salad just before serving.

*I rinsed the pasta with cold water and the salad was ready to serve immediately! What a tasty treat!

Heavy Boots

"For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

This seems to be a season of crying and grief for my own life and for those around me. So many different painful things have come up for so many that I know. A broken heart, devastating sickness, a loss of someone dear. Lots of heavy boots walking around.

I'm not sure what the Lord is doing, but so many seem to be weighed down with the hurt and pain that come with our broken world, and rightfully so in a sense. I'm looking forward to the end of this season, when the "time for dancing and laughing" will seem so much brighter because of the dark this season is holding.

It's funny the way the Lord times the trials in our lives. Some of them seem like they couldn't have come at a worse time, but really they came at the most perfect time... I'm learning, as of late, that what I know and what I feel are two things that, more often than not, could not be more different from one another. I thank the Lord for the Truth that my feelings are not reality.

I feel like this is the worst most difficult time I could be going through after such a sweet and treasured time, but I know that the Lord is bigger than this and this is not the worst thing, this is life in our fallen world and the Lord is allowing it becasue it will result in His best for me.

I feel like I'm alone, but I know that I have endless support from incredible people surrounding me and seeking Christ on my behalf and I have a savior who never leaves.
I feel like when this season is said and done it will be impossible to be fully joyful again, I know that joy is from the Lord and is choice and I will choose joy even before this season has passed.

I know that others are hurting in far different ways, but with the same amount of pain that need me to lift them up in prayer. To sit with them and weep. To encourage them not to believe the lie that this will never end. To be the friend that I am called to be for them. To point them to Jesus and strive to be as selfless as He is.

DIYs

Over the last two months, Daniel and I have been settling into our little rental home nicely. As newlyweds, we're not exactly rollin' in the dough BUT thanks to pinterest and a lack of school for the first time in the last 17 years I've taken to decorating on a budget. And when I say on a budget, I'm talking like dollar store and around the house odds and ends.

Mason jar vases with DIY felt flowers was my first endeavor.

Soon followed by my pictures frame sharpie/dry erase calendar.

Then my twine wrapped monogram.

And lastly my fall burlap wreath with more felt flowers (I have an excess of burlap right now...)

My next project is going to be dozy... simple rehopolstery tricks will hopefully turn my ugly goodwill/garage sale armchairs into extra, comfy seating for our living room. I think working part time and a lack of school has made me overestimate my craftiness, or maybe just fully embrace it.

I've gotta say, I'm diggin' this DIY crafty stuff.

Amazima Ministires... again.

Remember way back, when I did a little post about Amazima Ministies and one of the most amazing people I've ever read about? (If not, it's right here.)

Well, her book just came out! This girl is seriously an amazing woman of the Lord. The sacrafices she's made are unimaginable and her honesty, spirit, and faith through everything the Lord has required of her is one of the truest testimonies to the love of Christ that I've ever heard. Her book is here and can be bought a few different places.

I can't really fathom what her life is truly like. The heartache, the joy, any of it. I pray that my heart and actions would be as willing as hers when the Lord calls me to "Go", even in the smallest of ways. Even when those who care about me the most say "stay."