A Bittersweet Christmas

"Be still and know that I am God." - Psalm 46:10

About a year and half ago, right when I was coming back from Africa, my sweet mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. After about 6 months of treatment, she was unofficially cancer free and in remission. At her three month check up this last July, we were hit with the news that her cancer was back and stronger than before, this time on her liver. She went to see specialists in Texas to decide if there was anyway to remove the cancer via surgery. The answer was no. She came back to Albuquerque to start chemo treatments again in order to hopefully shrink the new tumor enough to surgically remove. As we all prayed and begged the Lord to heal my mom from this exhausting and often painful sickness and treatment, the Lord quietly and gently said no. In October, the doctors changed her chemo treatments in an attempt to buy her more time rather than rid her of the cancer that was not responding to the original treatment. The doctors thought that she had maybe two months or so left with us here.

The new treatment did what it was supposed, putting a sort of leash on the cancer. It was still progressing but much much slower than it would without the treatment. We prayed and prayed that this treatment would be less trying with it's side effects than the last and that my mom would make it to my brother's wedding on December 17th.

She did. It was a beautiful day. She LOVED seeing my brother and his new wife get married, despite being the weakest she'd been during the last year and a half. The Lord was gracious giving her enough energy to painlessly make it through the gorgeous ceremony and reception. Unfortunately, over the next two days she became more sick and was in more pain than she'd ever been in since the diagnosis and treatments. Monday morning (December 19th) she was back at the hospital where her very sympathetic but realistic doctor told us we were down to 2-3 days probably. As devastating as that news was to my family and me, she was ready and she told us so. Her faith was amazing. She told us that in all the time she'd spent talking with the Lord about her sickness and asking for healing and relief from the pain, she felt like He'd very clearly told her that He was going to bring her home from this not heal her of it.

That same Monday, my mom was sent home from the hospital and the next day we started her at home hospice care, where she would be cared for and her pain would be managed in the comfort of my parents' home with all of us around her. My precious, selfless aunt (my mom's sister) stayed after my brother's wedding to help with whatever we or my mom needed. What a blessing she was to all of us!

Each day last week, my beautiful mama was getting worse and worse, but passed the 2 and 3 day mark. We were so comforted by the graciousness and empathy that my mom's sweet hospice nurse showed us. Assuring us that while it may seem different, we were giving her enough pain medication to ensure that she was comfortable and completely pain free. What a relief and comfort that was for my family and me.

The afternoon of Christmas day, my mom went to be with Jesus. With my brother, sisters, dad, aunt and myself gathered around her bed, she breathed her last and the Lord took her home. While my heart is broken at the absense of my mom here with me know, I'm overjoyed and rejoicing with her as she's been welcomed into heaven by her Savior. No more pain, no more sickness, and no more tears for her ever again. What a beautiful gift, that the Lord would take her home to be with Him the day that we celebrate Him giving us Jesus. We are grieving the loss of a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a friend, know that we are so so comforted by the fact that we know exactly where she is and that she is doing better than she ever has. We are so thankful that she was able to be at my wedding and my brother's wedding, and celebrate both those days with us.

"When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying is written will come true: 'Death has been swallowed up in victory.' 'Where, oh death, is your victory? Where, oh death, is your sting?'" - 2 Corinthians 15:54-55

Zephaniah 3:17

A sweet friend sent me these words of encouragement today. So needed.


"The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior who saves! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest in silent satisfaction and in His love He will be silent and make no mention of past sins, or even recall them; He will exult over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

Leah Anne Medina

Could she be any cuter?! I think not.

Christmas & Family News

Our house is slowly accumulating Christmas cheer, and thanks to Pinterest (tired of hearing about that yet?) I get to try some new things!

Black Friday gave us our lovely Christmas tree and pinterest gave me everything else :)

Yep, another DIY wreath

Easy Peazy

Fun pinterest window decorations

And super fun stockings that my husband brought home for us and the dog :)

In other not related news? I have a niece! My brother-in-law and his wife have adopted a sweet baby girl! I can't tell you how excited I am to be an aunt. My hubby's brother and sister-in-law have prayed and prayed for the last 2 years or so for the Lord to open the door for them to adopt and after a road full of ups and downs, He has said, "YES"! I've gotta say as smitten as her fantastic parents are with her, she's already got an uncle wrapped around her little bitty finger :)

Meet my new niece Leah Anne Medina!

A LOT more pictures to come of her first day coming home with her mom and dad! And can you blame me? She's just about the sweetest thing ever! :)

Pasta Salad

Thank you, Pinterest! FANTASTIC pasta salad :)

Ingredients:

1 cup chopped pecans

1/2 package bow-tie pasta

1 lb. fresh broccoli

1 cup mayonnaise

1/3 cup sugar

1/3 cup red wine vinegar

1 tsp. salt

1 1/2 cups halved, seedless, red grapes

-Bake pecans at 350 degrees on baking sheet for 5-7 minutes or until toasted.

-Prepare pasta according to package directions.

-Cut broccoli florets into small pieces.

-Whisk together mayonnaise, red wine vinegar, sugar, and salt until well blended. Add broccoli, hot cooked pasta, and grapes. Mix together well, allow to chill for 3 hours. Put pecans into salad just before serving.

*I rinsed the pasta with cold water and the salad was ready to serve immediately! What a tasty treat!

Heavy Boots

"For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

This seems to be a season of crying and grief for my own life and for those around me. So many different painful things have come up for so many that I know. A broken heart, devastating sickness, a loss of someone dear. Lots of heavy boots walking around.

I'm not sure what the Lord is doing, but so many seem to be weighed down with the hurt and pain that come with our broken world, and rightfully so in a sense. I'm looking forward to the end of this season, when the "time for dancing and laughing" will seem so much brighter because of the dark this season is holding.

It's funny the way the Lord times the trials in our lives. Some of them seem like they couldn't have come at a worse time, but really they came at the most perfect time... I'm learning, as of late, that what I know and what I feel are two things that, more often than not, could not be more different from one another. I thank the Lord for the Truth that my feelings are not reality.

I feel like this is the worst most difficult time I could be going through after such a sweet and treasured time, but I know that the Lord is bigger than this and this is not the worst thing, this is life in our fallen world and the Lord is allowing it becasue it will result in His best for me.

I feel like I'm alone, but I know that I have endless support from incredible people surrounding me and seeking Christ on my behalf and I have a savior who never leaves.
I feel like when this season is said and done it will be impossible to be fully joyful again, I know that joy is from the Lord and is choice and I will choose joy even before this season has passed.

I know that others are hurting in far different ways, but with the same amount of pain that need me to lift them up in prayer. To sit with them and weep. To encourage them not to believe the lie that this will never end. To be the friend that I am called to be for them. To point them to Jesus and strive to be as selfless as He is.

DIYs

Over the last two months, Daniel and I have been settling into our little rental home nicely. As newlyweds, we're not exactly rollin' in the dough BUT thanks to pinterest and a lack of school for the first time in the last 17 years I've taken to decorating on a budget. And when I say on a budget, I'm talking like dollar store and around the house odds and ends.

Mason jar vases with DIY felt flowers was my first endeavor.

Soon followed by my pictures frame sharpie/dry erase calendar.

Then my twine wrapped monogram.

And lastly my fall burlap wreath with more felt flowers (I have an excess of burlap right now...)

My next project is going to be dozy... simple rehopolstery tricks will hopefully turn my ugly goodwill/garage sale armchairs into extra, comfy seating for our living room. I think working part time and a lack of school has made me overestimate my craftiness, or maybe just fully embrace it.

I've gotta say, I'm diggin' this DIY crafty stuff.

Amazima Ministires... again.

Remember way back, when I did a little post about Amazima Ministies and one of the most amazing people I've ever read about? (If not, it's right here.)

Well, her book just came out! This girl is seriously an amazing woman of the Lord. The sacrafices she's made are unimaginable and her honesty, spirit, and faith through everything the Lord has required of her is one of the truest testimonies to the love of Christ that I've ever heard. Her book is here and can be bought a few different places.

I can't really fathom what her life is truly like. The heartache, the joy, any of it. I pray that my heart and actions would be as willing as hers when the Lord calls me to "Go", even in the smallest of ways. Even when those who care about me the most say "stay."

Pinterest

Yes, I've jumped on that band wagon. In a most ridiculous manner.
I'm a little obsessed, but just in time since I'm not in school and have a house to decorate.
It's turned me into a crafting fool... Just see for yourself. Here are my first two endeavors:

My scrapbook paper, magnetic, refrigerator weekly menu and grocery list!

 cloths pin picture frame (don't judge my blurry phone picture)

And just you wait... I've got three more little projects in the works and TONS of mason jar things that need doing.
Consider yourself warned, as pinterest takes over most of my computer time what it results in will take over this blog... at least for a while. :)

They're Up!

Searching for the Light Photography posted some of our wedding photos here! Take a look! :)

because things aren't always easy

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."

John 16:33

Honeymooners

So we went to Jamaica for our honeymoon! It was just lovely :) Let me tell you though, that I probably would say that about almost anywhere after all the work that the last 6 months held. Having a week to hang out with my favorite person and do a whole lot of sleeping in and hanging out, you just can't really go wrong there! With plenty of beach walking, eating, and swimming, pictures aren't very exciting (and in all honesty, my camera was often forgotten) but here they are anyway :)

Our lovely room

 the view from our room

 creepy crab

 Fancy breakfast

Mrs. Medina

My new name. Holy moly.

It's been a week and a half of being a wife and only a few days of being a wife in reality and not in honeymoon land. Which was awesome, by the way.

The wedding was so fun and so so so blessed by the Lord. Truly a miracle that everything came together as well as it did. After a very rainy rehearsal, the actual day was beautiful. I can't wait to get the pictures back from our fantastic photographer, who did a fantastic job, and share them with you AND get our video of the day back too! The day itself, was so relaxing and fun. Spending all day with my lovely bridesmaids, being as girly as you can get and having so much fun. Laughing a lot and crying a little. What sweet friends I have in those girls. Here are a few picture from the day, taken mainly by little sister:

The Rehearsal

 Groomsmen

Bridesmaids

 

 Getting our nails done

Hair time

 

My sister and maid of honor! (Also, Paula)

The beautiful cake a sweet family friend made for us

Daniel's Groom's cake, the Bat Signal

 

Hotel Albuquerque for the ceremony

My mom & dad at the reception 

First dance 

 WE'RE MARRIED!

My little faith

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
-Psalm 6:25-26
Can I tell you something about my sinful and unbelieving heart? It's a doubting a heart. One that I pray so hard will immediately trust in the Lord when hard things come up, but so often my trust in the Lord is recognized and acknowledged after I've tried a few "good" ideas that will certainly help me out and be just as good.
Ha.
I must say, I learned a very humbling lesson this morning about the provision of the Lord and am so so grateful that my tiny, laughable faith was enough for Him to show me that I'm more important to him than the birds... however undeserving I am. In light of all the wedding madness and expenses and stress, I have only acknowledged how the Lord has provided but not truly praised Him and thanked Him for EVERYTHING. So He reminded me this morning, how big things seem to me are so quickly taken care of by Him.

"I will give thanks to God, I will praise you before all others."
-Psalm 138:1

Wedding Week

I would say, "let the madness begin" but it seems that the last 5 or 6 months have already taken up that little characteristic... so maybe we'll just go with "let the madness continue"?
I'm officially back at my parents' house for the next 4 days and will get to spend the night before my wedding with 3 of the lovely girls I went to Namibia with last summer. All of my stuff, with the exception of just a few things, are in the new house with Daniel while we pray that this week goes smoothly and quickly.
Family will start to come into town on Wednesday and the chaos will increase with the number of people that come... in a good way. My parents are frantically cleaning and organizing things to make sure the 9 people staying at there house will be as comfortable, at least as comfortable as 9 people, a cat, and a dog can be in one house.
Also, included in this weekend, aside from moving, were very fun bachelorette celebrations! Two of my bridesmaids and very best friends took me for my "night-away because you're getting married extravaganza" on Friday night. We did this when the first one of us got married last year, and now we just have one to go! It included A LOT of ridiculousness, food, Arrested Development, a night at a lovely hotel, and a lovely spa afternoon, only to be followed by my bachelorette party later the next night. It was fantastic! I have to say I think I'm going to have to declare that my friends are just about the best ever. EVER.

I love mason jars.

And have accumulated many for decorating purposes. I love them. It is likely that I'll go overboard with them, but I don't think I care. This site has given me many ideas.

The hanging ones are probably my favorite. 

 But the kitchen ones are good too.

 Bathroom mason jars look so tidy though.

But I think these babies take the cake. They are fabulous.

18 Days

Are you sick of my wedding posts yet? Well, only 18 more days allow the opportunity for them (at least in the engagement stage of things, there will surely be at least one more after September 2).
The last months are a blur. The planning is done and now it's on to scheduling. My list of to do's has not shortened but has changed (many of those to dos ending with "finish paying for"), as I've crossed one thing off and added another to the bottom. One of the things I was able to cross off as of Saturday were our cookie mix wedding favors!

What i anticipated being a two, maybe three, hour endeavor took about five and a half. BUT with the generous help of three of my bridesmaids it went much faster than it would have had it just been me!
I will say that as I've had other friends in this same season of life, I found it much easier to help them plan their weddings than for me to plan my own. My emotions have gone a little haywire from all the planning, budgeting, spending, and other unexpected challenges that life seems so ready to throw your way when you're least prepared. I'm looking forward to the end of this short season of being engaged and on to the next adjustment of learning how to be married. Hoping to back out of the chaos a little and settle into what the new normal will be.

Bridal Showers 1 & 2

My sweet bridesmaids and my soon to be mother & sister-in-law put on two fantastic bridal showers for me!
The first one was with a bunch of my close girlfriends. What fun it was! My amazing wedding photographer and good friend, Emmy Gaines (her site is here) took these picture from the day:

The second one was hosted by my fantastic mother-in-law-to-be and sister-in-law-to-be at the Desert Greens Golf course with the aunts, cousins, and grandmothers from Daniel's family. So much fun! (pictures to come later)

Both of these showers were such a blessing and helped so much in getting us started in our new home! I can't wait to put all the kitchen things to use once I'm in the house with Daniel in September. :) What a joy to know these women who spoil me far beyond the nothing that I deserve.

Also, 23 days until I become Mrs. Medina and we have a place to live! Woo whooo! I can't believe how quickly August is going by...

Because Sometimes Life is Rough

Sometimes you need a little blogging therapy and nonsense sentences that will likely be the thing to confuse you out of whatever funk you originally found yourself in.



Like that one.



While being married is just under 6 weeks away and some scrambling has begun to make sure things to come together the way they should, life has decided to still happen in spite of my upcoming nuptials. Rude, I know, that it wouldn't put off throwing some difficult things my way until after September. But with that being said, if you're able to decipher my ramblings at all, the Lord has proven to be sufficient through every means possible.

Knowing that my family and I are dealing with the same thing in so many different ways, none of us being able to be fully strong for the others, the Lord has shown just how faithful He is to provide in everything. Financially, emotionally, physically. Through that fantastic guy I get to marry. Through my roommate who deal with mopey me often now. Through sweet friends with listening ears and hearts that hurt with me. Through rain and beautiful sunsets being little pick-me-ups when things feel extra heavy. But mostly through that still, quiet voice deep in my heart showing me true sufficiency.

As abstract and vague as all of that is, I've been shown more in the last 4 weeks the true and relentless love and providence of my God who will never leave me, forget me, or forsake me.



Do not fear for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you and uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10

Bridesmaids

I've been thinking a whole lot about the 6 marvelous ladies that are going to be in my wedding in September. The more I thought about them, the more and more grateful I became for them and the HUGE roles they've each played in my life and how different each of those friendships are.
Do you see where I'm going here? Yeah, this is a little on the long side... consider yourself warned.

It seems only fair to start with the gal I've known the longest, the one who didn't have a choice when it came to being my bud since she's my little sister. I've gotta say, Kelsey and I haven't always been super close. Yes, we went through that whole my-sister-bugs-me-solely-because-she's-my-sister phase and although thatphase was a rocky one we came out pretty good friends on the other side. Good enough friends that we even chose to live with each other after moving out of our parents house. It's good stuff this sister-ship.

I think my buddy, Amy, probably wins as being part of my longest and most consistent friendship. We've hit our decade mark, she and I. Before we know it, we'll have been friends for more than half our lives... yeah, it's that kind of bond. The one that makes me think, "we probably are actually sisters and things just got messed up at the hospital." Amy has seriously been by my side for the biggest highs and lows of my life thus far. I can honestly say that there have been times that I don't know what I would have done without her. This is true of all the girls mentioned here, but I think Amy has probably seen the worst and most terrible parts of my character and chosen to be my friend in spite of those things. We joke that we're like wives, but that whole for better or worse part definitely rings true for us.

This girl I've probably known the longest, but we haven't always been close. Suzy and I have a picture of us at my 7th or 8th birthday party (our parents were good friends which is the only reason we saw each other back in the day) and it's one of the most hilarious photos you'll ever see. There is only a smidge of courteous shown on our faces while we are more awkward and wondering who the other one is and why we're invited to each other's birthdays. BUT once high school was upon up and with a little help from our mutually shared sarcasm, she easily and quickly became one of my best friends. She is another friend who has seen me at some of my worst moments and on top of that supported me through just about everything while being brutally honest when I probably needed it the most.

Becca is my "me too" friend. Since early in high school, just about every struggle and hardship that we shared with one another often left us saying, "me too!" to each other. While we may not be sharing the same struggles at the same time anymore, more often than not we are now saying "I know what you mean, I've been there." Being able to hear a similar story and the ways in which the Lord has worked in her life is an answer to prayer, a tangible way that the Lord shows me His provision and saving grace. Her heart to serve the Lord and others above all else is a challenge and an encouragement to me every time we talk. Coffee talks and a lot of laughing have solidified my friendship with this sweet girl over the last 7 years, and I'm so so grateful for her.

She's my counterpart, you know. And with that nickname bestowed upon us we became friends, thanks to Amy. Although we haven't known each other as long, she turned out to be one of those friends that I felt like I could share anything with almost instantly and had known most of my life. I've never met someone with such a hilariously sarcastic sense of humor and such a soft heart. Not only is she one of my closest friends, but I look up to her and respect her in so many ways. She may not even know it, but she is constantly challenging me in walk with the Lord and holding me accountable in so many things. Having a few similar challenges in our lives and knowing that those challenges are shared with a sister in Christ is one of the things about our friendship I'm most grateful for.

Lastly, but certainly not least, is my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Colleen. Ok, so technically she's Daniel's sister-in-law but I'm going to claim her as my own. She's hilarious. One of the most outgoing people I've ever met, and let me tell ya that was perfect when I was just getting to know his whole family. She has been amazing over the last 3ish years in welcoming into the Medina family and making me feel comfortable, and even more so in becoming one of my close friends. Once she knew I was there to stay, she gave me in-law advice and understanding encouragement while I tried (and continue to try) to figure out how to be part of a new family. I'm so over the top glad that she is willing to share with me and be part of my life as new sister and friend.

I don't know if any of them will ever read this, but I love each of you dearly. You have been with me and there for me through every season of my life and I know that the Lord specifically placed each of you in my life to get me through the hardest times and to make the good times that much better.

I warned you this post was going be a pretty long (and yes, I recognize that three of the six pictures are from the same day), but I wanted to write down and remember how important each one of these women are to me and the different friendships I have with them. Although, the shaping friendships in my life are not limited to just these girls, they certainly are good examples of the weight and importance that friendship carry.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down his friend can help him up. But pity the man that falls and has no one to help him up."
Ecc. 4:9-10